Plain White Day

When I was little, we had an enormous collection of recorded VHS tapes of all kinds of movies and tv shows in our study. In particular, I remember the, I imagine them to be like Clydesdales, HEAVY tapes that must have been six or eight hours long, that my dad would mass-record onto. A string of movies like, Dumbo, Mary Poppins, Volcanoes, My Little Pony, Swiss Family Robinson, Flight of the Navigator. I could sit and watch one of those all day. I think I fast forwarded through Volcanoes pretty much every time, though. It was a little scary.
But I did like the volcano section in Fantasia. That was another one on a tape of six other movies. I think that Star Fairies was on that one at the end. And Care Bears.
But the volcanoes in Fantasia, they looked like they were spewing something delicious. With the rocks crumbling away as the lava poured over them, it was sort of like....meat and cheese or something. Some sort of delicious food made up in my imagination. I wasn't so fond of the part at the end though, where the lava runs into the ocean and there is so much smoke, I suppose it wasn't as appetizing. Like offering someone a steamy cup of water when they're hungry.
It's funny how none of this means anything, but it's all still stored away in there, a totally useless reference. Its only purpose seems to be for passing amusement. I wish it meant something. It would be nice to piece together all these tiny things, strands and bits into some dumb art project. Then could you stand back and say, "Ha! I'm done." No, it sucks because you keep living. Things keep happening and you think, but I have all these things here, look, this book I made, but NO it doesn't matter, things are happening, with or without your bad poetry, your shitty sculpture, your stupid scribblings.
I wonder when I got so pessimistic.