I can't stop thinking about this one word in Italian but I don't know exactly what it is. Learning languages makes words and phrases run on repeat in my head. Sometimes it happens with English, though, too. It's nice to know where it comes from though. Somehow it's so much better to have a phrase running in circles like an autistic dreidel when you know what obscure lobe of your brain decided to regurgitate it.
Sometimes smells get stuck in my nose too. This sort of hasn't happened for a while now, which makes me a little sad. It used to happen at least every fall and spring. In the spring it was normally this sort of mixture of the smell of those Girl Scout cookies caramel delights and snot. Which was strangely pleasant. I guess the snot part was maybe just my nose. But the combination was sort of nice. Then in the fall it would be something else. Something I really can't explain. One of those things like the hallusions or whatever when you look directly at it, it slinks off to the side of the page, slippery. I don't know what it was. I wish it would come back.
There's this song, aptly named, also making the rounds in my head.
I guess it could be compared to habits. In some ways, it's the same thing. Something happening over and over again. The way to describe it is like water trickling through dirt for the first time. Then there's tiny spidery trails and the rest of the water takes the easy way out and follows. And before you know it, the GRAND CANYON.
And I remember calling them "samskaras," which I liked. I like. I think it makes sense. They're not necessarily good or bad, just habit. Paths carved, that your thoughts go through. Sometimes I imagine thoughts like the silvery stuff in the pensive in Harry Potter. Aaaahh...pop culture.
But it makes it hard when you want to change something. You can't just put up dams.
Blah. I feel like I'm giving a lecture. I hate that. Hate. That.
Oh actually I do have a smell stuck in my nose. Maybe. But I keep smelling this sort of styrofoam and crisco thing. Actually that might have a logical explanation. But that's no fun.
It smells like sort of almost good food, but not quite. Sort of like those edible packing peanuts.
Seriously, who thought of that?
Not everything is meant to be edible.
Monday, November 3, 2008
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