Two Legs Look So Good Together

My world seems to be an indecipherable mess lately, and though it's not unpleasant, I'm so ready to just say "fuck it" and get on that plane to somewhere else. Lauf. Umm.... bitte? The only german I know is from Run Lola Run.
I recently watched a Peter Greenaway film called A Zed and Two Naughts, which was just as stunning as the other films of his I've seen, and very haunting. The soundtrack in particular gets to you. And this one cutaway that was repeated of this green landscape. Somehow his films always manage to combine image and sound in a way that can only talk directly to your brain. Sometimes words are so frustrating. Or maybe I'm just bad at using them. Sorry. I can't imagine all the mental pain and suffering I've caused words by mishandling and molesting them. I'm such a pervert.
But something that always gets to me is watching animals decompose in time lapse. Somehow I seem to run into this more often that you'd think. It's like a horrible motif in my life. I think the first time I really remember was watching a Nine Inch Nails music video. Giggle. yes. but really, those are fucked up. All of them are nauseating in different, incredible ways. But what I really can't stand is how when animals decompose, especially mammals, the bacteria eating them up and digesting them and making gases make them look like they're breathing in time lapse. But they're dead. I mean, I guess it's sort of an amazing metaphor for the life within death and how things live on by feeding of the death of others but god. Sometimes I can't deal with nature.
Maybe I'm just afraid.